OK, I found this great Musician's Joke site after I posted my last thing that had a couple jokes in it: http://www.ducksdeluxe.com/jokes.html
I found the thing below there and I couldn't resist inculding it here - boy is this stuff ever true, I guess it's because guitarists are so competitive that they always have to find something wrong in what another guitarist is doing.....I say as I'm about to go to the biggest guitar gunslinger show of the year tomorrow, the NAMM show in Anaheim, CA - check this out and see if it resonates with YOUR life experience:
~ A Jazz Guitarist's Dilemma! ~
If you have a lot of chops and use them .. you play too many notes
If you don't have a lot of chops ..you don't play enough notes
If you're a high energy player ..you don't play with enough feeling
If you play with lots of feeling you're too sappy
If you like a fat round sound..your sound is too fat
If you thin out your sound..you're sound is too thin
If you play a lot of chordal solo's..why does he play so many chords?
If you chord work is sparce..he doesn't play enough chords.
If you use heavy strings..why does he use such heavy strings?
If you use lighter strings..he should use heavier strings to sound better
If you sit and play..why doesn't he stand?
If you stand why doesn't he sit?
If you smile..what's wrong with him?
If you don't smile..what's wrong with him?
If you play two measures in octaves..Wes was a big influence
If you play more than two measures in octaves..you sound just like Wes
If you like to play "out" what's he doing, can he really play?
If you play " inside". Yeah! But can he really play?
If you play an Archtop ..why does he need such a big guitar
If you play a solid-body that's not a jazz guitar
If you're not a good reader..he can't read
If you're a good reader..why?..some of the best players couldn't read
If you like to dress up and look neat..who does he think he is?
If you don't look neat..he's still a hippie
If you grow a beard..what's he hiding?
If you're clean shaven..he doesn't look like a jazz musician
You introduce yourself as a jazz guitarist ...
Oh God! Not another guitar player!